只要狠一狠心，
把眼睛闭上，
轻轻地一跃，
跳进蓝色的太浩湖。
蓝得教人想起，
故乡的天空，
期望着奔向她的怀抱。

就这么一次的放纵，
左肩那座巴山底狱，
右肩那座五岳之首，
通通溶掉在这湖水里。
瞬间，
我化作自由的灵魂，
徘徊在月下，在花中。

怕什么？
华年已过，
白发斑斑的是我，
午夜梦回的也是我。
被惊醒了，
并不是母亲莫名其妙的威严，
也不是父亲饱经风霜的脸。
而是，
儿子天真的笑容.
我得把它们重新地扛上，
仿佛曾经那样。

        已是十二月下旬的旧金山，天气热得让人怀疑马克吐温那句名言，“最冷的冬天是三藩市的夏天”。我在西帕图车站提前下了车, 傍晚的小区并没有其他行人。我踏着零星的落叶走在街上, 迎面吹来的海风因为特意脱下大衣的缘故，才感到一丝寒意。 我怀念起故乡的冬天, 印象中，呼伦贝尔的十月便开始正式进入了落花的季节 - 到处都是雪花纷飞，一片白茫茫的景象。

        大概三十年前，我和我的祖父母住在一个公寓的三楼上。不知什么时候开始，我爱呆呆地站在窗前看着飘雪。 只需要一个晚上的工夫, 整个世界都被染成白色。＂银妆素裹，分外娇娆＂是最贴切不过的形容。

    我的祖父是个道道地地的蒙古人，他的国语只有几个会说蒙古文的家人才听得董。 冬天的时候，他总是戴着一顶棕色的帽子, 披着一条红色的长围巾和穿着一件及膝深灰色的洋装大衣，往往让人联想到奥亨利笔下的一位老绅士。 一位安静的慈祥老人，和我一样喜欢在楼上眺望雪景。 很多时候，一看便是一整天。我的祖母经常在吃过午饭不久就开始准备晚饭。特别是冬天，我们家几乎在下午五点之前就吃过晚饭。祖母有满族血统，所以特别爱做饽饽或者做传统北方面制成的其他食物。

        我从小就认为我的祖母是世界上最漂亮最温柔的人，至少我哥哥和表兄弟姐妹也这么认为。大概上帝是公平的， 我那几乎完美的祖母，她的厨艺却得不到多少人敢恭唯。 当然不排除不知廉耻的马屁精和讹言奉承的伪君子会有时对她的烹饪技术高声地赞美，毕竟这世上厚颜无耻之徒也不少，本人曾经就是其中的一位。大慈大悲的观世音菩萨和圣母玛利亚，宽恕我吧！那时候，我费尽心思、绞尽脑汁只是想得到一支自动铅笔罢了。、

        在我祖母眼中, 没有什么比得上冬天里全家吃过晚饭，躺在床上听广播来得更幸福。她爱把一根细长的木棍放在大门中间，根据她的理论，倘若有人破门而进，木棍倒下的声音会把她惊醒。从我认事开始, 她每天晚上睡觉前必须仔细检查门窗，还有一把短匕首永远放在枕头下面以防万一。所以我从小就爱冬天的晚上，爱那种温馨和安全的感觉。

        快要走到家门口的时候，我不自觉地往天上望， 因为传说中每颗星星代表一个死去的灵魂。可惜我又忘了，异国的冬天没有纷飞的白雪，也没有繁星闪烁的夜空。

        最近无论是打开报纸杂志收听广播或是上网都是铺天盖地的有关纪念张国荣的新闻。是的，差点忘了今年四月一日是香港一代巨星张国荣去世九周年。但是同时中国十三亿人民是否还有人会记得四月二号是童话家安徒生（Hans Christian Andersen, April 2, 1805 – August 4, 1875）的生日？我想现今看过张国荣的电影或听过他的歌的青少年比看过安徒生童话的还要多。这是可惜还是可悲呢？

        上个星期天我们全家高高兴兴地庆祝小侄女考上旧金山名高中Lowell High School,但是这位品学兼优的侄女连契诃夫是谁也不知道。 当然更不指望她看过契诃夫的作品。我母亲，一个热爱俄国文学的人,对于屠格涅夫、高尔基、契诃夫、列夫•托尔斯泰和普希金等的名著有如数家珍。她对我那位聪明的侄女带点轻蔑,犹如我侄女讥讽我连贾斯汀•比伯（Justin Bieber）是谁也不知 一样。

        我儿子四年级的功课其中的一项写是一位你崇拜的伟人。 我兴致勃勃地为他收集许多有关爱德华•詹纳（Edward Jenner）的资料。结果他的老师说太复杂了，不如写Stan Lee（著名的漫画家）。我无言以对，并不是我认为Stan Lee不伟大， 而是我对伟大的定义开始模糊和怀疑。我受鲁迅和我姑姑影响从小就认为能救人的便是伟人。我父亲很热冲政治，所以他心目中的伟人大多数是政治家，譬如周恩来，邓小平和乔巴山。我母亲当然觉得任何一个著名作家比我父亲那些偶像更伟大。

        伟大、伟人和偶像是可以混在一起谈的。但是因为我对这三者的定义早被混淆，因为传媒而混淆！并且越来越模糊甚至怀疑起自己心中的定义。现在，我心中的伟人是因时因地而异。在我动手术的时候，我觉得发明麻醉药的人最伟大。手术完毕，当然会觉得发明止痛片的那人更伟大。可惜我到现在还不知道这两者的尊姓大名。当我打开包装简陋的盒子的时候，却发现我哥哥给我的圣诞礼物是我盼望已久的电子书（Kindle）的时候，我仿佛看到一片光环在我亲爱的哥哥头上闪烁着。当我拖着疲惫的身躯冒着雨而且饥饿难堪下班回到家的时候，我祖母为我端上一碗热腾腾她亲手做的水饺的时候，我那位戴着光环的哥哥、那位伟大的发现麻醉药或是那位发明止痛片的人、还有那位连鲁迅也歌颂的种牛痘发明者早被我搁在一旁，取而代之时我那位会包水饺的老奶奶。

 C．E． 4-15-2012

I am not a big fan of neither Pop Idol from UK nor American Idol, or any other spin-off from the UK's Pop Idol around the world.  However, Susan Boyle's name came to my horizon the next morning after she sang "I Dreamed  a Dream" in a such reality show in UK.   Indeed, the media have demonstrated their power again.  This time, they made a seemly ordinary person well known around the world overnight.  The days followed, virtually everyone talked about Susan Boyle.  Her performance had been shown again and again on our TV and radio.  Her anecdotes were even mentioned in one of my local minority community radio show.  In a particular episode of Money  Radio, a family financial advisory show, the host, Mr. Sau-Wing Lam(林修榮, or 林修荣), talked about her and the inspiration of ordinary people having potential of being successful in their life.

 Looking back now, after I watched the performance of a contestant regarded as China's new Susan Boyle in a Chinese Idol show,  I began to think deeply about this phenomenon, not because of my doubt of ordinary people being able to be successful in real life, but rather, the different treatments received between the two "Susan Boyle" by the our media here.  Susan Boyle in UK has well received in the world, and yet this "Susan Boyle", who has the similar background and most importantly also has spectacular voice as Ms Boyle,  has got virtually no intentions in the media here despite the fact that almost everyone in China knows him.  I am talking about 1.3 billions or more people in the other part of the world.  This drives me think that,  as an ordinary resident here living in the US, I really wonder now what else we could have missed from the rest of the world!

 Frankly, I didn't know this ordinary farmer named Zhu Zhiwen(朱之文), his amazing voice and his singing talent despite he's become well known in China since the beginning of this year.  I discovered him by chance here from the Internet when I tried to go over some versions of my favorite song, "Love in Vain(枉凝眉)", the theme song of "Hong Lou Meng" or "Dream of Red Chamber".  One singer's voice caught my attention.  Although I am not an artist, his distinct voice attracted me.  Searching him revealed that he is China's new Susan Boyle!  He is a farmer who loves to sing but without any formal musical education. He's taught himself music and kept practicing singing for more than twenty years.  He took part in Chinese Idol in the begining of this year, and his singing surprised everyone immediately.  Some say that his singing is even better than some professional singers in China.   He suddenly became China's new Susan Boyle!

 Zhu Zhiwen in Chinese Idol

 Although Mr. Zhu became famous in China, little is known about him here, even within the Chinese community.  Obviously, Mr. Zhu is not the real Susan Boyle well known in this part of the world.  I think that Susan Boyle really owes our mainstream media a big thanks for being today's her.  For China's new Susan Boyle, I just hope that this honest farmer wouldn't become jealous about the real Susan Boyle.  At the same time, I hope people here like myself won't continue to become too ignorant about things happening in other parts of our world.  However, I know it will be very challenging for our media are only interested in our own stories, the stories in our Western world to be precise.  Yours aren't our business, and we have absolute controlling power over what our people should know.

Love in Vain - with Yu Wenhua, who led him to CCTV's stage

又到了秋高气爽的季节。 曾几何时， 本题目曾是儿时校际国庆征文的一个题目。 随着时光的流逝， 身处他乡多年，很多的人和事都似乎象漂散于天空的云彩，慢慢地变得遥远模糊。 而现残存的大多是遗憾的记忆，不堪回首，可免则免，不谈也罢。 而值得反思的的确不少，一一反思又显得太累且太沉重。 不如这回趁着佳节稍为振作一下，将就说一说庆国庆征文的陈年旧事，权当缓解因懒生惰而结的心疚。

其实大家都经历过课内写作，可有奖征文不常有。 那次征文的奖金由一位旅日华侨吴桂显先生的基金会提供。 记忆犹新是因为那年大家同学刚进新校舍，意气风发，舍友笑谈间都说想拿回可观的奖金。 其实，当年也觉得不知道从何写起。 也就自然地按当时说法，写起建国后的种种成就。 可是承载着希望的洋洋千百字到头来竟然敌不过一名叫青山同学的几句七律诗词，七律拿了大奖。 后来才知道青山父亲是当地稍有名气的律诗文人，他也是一位熟韵律的文学青年。 当时舍友多打趣地说是他的诗「庆(罄)」掉了大伙拿奖的热情和希望。。。。。

其实，七律拿了奖也很自然，他包含了属于另一层次的文化素养。 它能使一般文章在评选老师的眼皮底下黯然失色。 但话又说回来， 文字是实实在在的东西，花假不了，你所写的每一个字，或多或少都代表着你，反映着你的性格，你对事物的理解，对世界的看法等等。 从某个角度来说，你的文章是你思想面貌的体现，思想或认知的空洞很难单用华丽用词或花言巧语来搪塞； 最感人的文章大多来自自身体会的东西，来自内心深处能使你心灵悸动的感受。 青山同学的诗词也包含这方面的因素吧。

回头看，想想当年自己所提交的征文， 充其量，只能算是用字数堆砌出来的缺乏认知的空纸而已，满是陈腔滥调的鹦鹉学舌，不知属于自己的东西究竟有多少。 在那天真烂漫日子里，上下五千年的辉煌显得遥不可及，有切身体会只是「一穷二白」的滋味，哪能理解吴先生那般赤子心境及他的用心良苦； 哪能体会曾屈辱在枪口铁蹄下的惊恐和无奈；  哪能理解无数仁人志士前赴后继救国救民的大无畏精神； 哪能透彻「中国人民站起来」的真正含义； 哪能理解「宁要核子，不要裤子」般豪情后的悲壮； 哪能体会天灾人祸等浩劫后民族所受的的切肤之痛； 哪能理解到最后关头反省后拨乱反正的勇气和责任； 哪能体会及后「摸着石头过河」的迷惘和艰辛。。。。。

到如今，韬光养晦二十载，我大中华用每年以近一成的经济增长速度，共同用勤劳的双手书写了全球第二大经济体的辉煌，用自己的经历见证自己所创制的历史。 同一个世界，同一个梦想，百年奥运梦圆京城；上海世博再朔异族外邦争相来朝风范。 宇宙太空中的「神舟」圆中华民族千年飞天梦； 歼二十来去无踪如神龙在天； 海疆上的航母似蓄势待发的蛟龙在海，守护着这片土地和和这片土地上的龙的传人。 更难得是十亿百姓在国家发展中能安家乐业，更显奋发进取和谐新气象。 虽有天灾人祸，内外杂音，但如同胞们能沉着坚定团结，妥善解决，再接再厉，盛世再现便为期不远！

往事非烟，岁月留痕，和风细雨有时更能在心里蕩起经久涟漪，就像人生其他风浪一样也能自然而然地在心里流下纯真印记，身处他乡感受特深。 中华百年积弱积贫，自强，求发展，富国强民，才是正道。  几十年下来，都盼着生活在那片土地上的同胞能过好日子。 每当想起有关的旧事，感概万分之间，也似乎更能明白当年吴先生国庆征文的一番心思了。

During my summer vacation in Reno, Nevada, I had a chance to see an acrobatic show performed by an acrobatic team from China, Imperial Acrobats of China,  ‘a world class’ performance as presented in its introduction of the show.  

The performers’ Asian looks surely add additional merits to their ‘world class’ performances in this highly competitive entertainment environment.  They didn’t talk, nor they sang.  They performed with virtually every part of their body, unthinkably flexible and balanced, beautifully synchronized to complete one after another highly difficult acts that their audiences would think impossible to perform.  Probably a little is known to their American audiences that these performers all have an uncommon background.  They usually start their training as early as elementary kids.  When their American counterparts are playing computer and video games in the comfort of their home, they are practicing in school.

Watching their performances with their smiles on the stage, I realized that kids in China indeed sacrifice too much of their childhood in preparations of their future.  What I mean is that this phenomena happens not only to acrobatic field, but virtually very fields that you can imagine, sports such as gymnastics, swimming, arts and music such as painting, piano, violin, and many more.  Sometimes I would doubt if it is worth it because such kids may have a incomplete childhood, losing many aspects of life of being a kid that their peers take for granted.  Even thought I can understand the mentality of those parents sending their young kids to those schools for this kind of special training, I sometimes still find it hard for me to comprehend the harsh path they need to go through, living in the dormitory far away from home, leaning and practicing all day long, only being with their family a few days in a year, mostly for their entire childhood. 

Behind their smiles on their faces and the applause from their American audiences, I wonder who really know or care about their losses, their resentments and their tears they shed along their paths to the stage.

相信很多人都同意, 现今人类社会的文明只不过是相对于过往人类社会而言的.  当年要被沉溏的人和事, 在如今社会的法制保护下文明多了, 不可能再发生了.  然而, 我们的社会或我们自己是不是已很文明了呢?  明的, 如杀人越货作奸犯科, 我们不干了, 那是要赔命坐牢的. 为自身利益而暗里蒙人, 暗弄权术争强斗狠的另类的杀戮可不一样是今如往昔吗?  微及个人大致家国, 那里没有它的幽灵,它的恶臭.  当面笑脸背后骗人捅刀的人和事大家可能都经历过或听说过, 坊间你我等善类都深恶痛绝.  那高坐在联国安理会上的各国代表们可个个都是君子, 但在战场上双方的国人同胞们也不是一样一个个蜕变成文明的野兽, 杀你个你死我活的.  从文明殿堂走来的和平奖的得主也不是很文明地再增兵, 很和平地搞核试么?  是谁又为什么在利用和平奖, 这西方民主和文明的图腾作刺刀, 假他族一某人之的手刺向他同族母亲的心窝?

我也愿意相信我们的社会变得越来越文明. 几十或几百年后, 我们后人也许会象如今我们不屑于我们所不屑的过往野蛮行为一样, 不屑于现时我们认为合情合理合法的人和事. 但也许这可能跟本不会发生, 因为我们人类不知到什么时候才可完全地拔掉深埋在我们心中私欲, 及能漂白残存在我们心里黑色的野性. 在此之前, 文明的背后依然是黑暗.

When talking about autism in general, people usually focus on children with autism or its variants.  I have seldom heard about information about adults with autism or high functioning autism.   I was thrilled but still able to hold my tears in my eyes when I listened to a NPR talk show about this topic today during my lunch break.  In his show “Making The World Work For Adults With Autism”, the host and his guests, the authors of an article “Autism's First Child”, talked about the life of adults with autism and the social environment around them.  Many ardent parents of autistic children also called in to discuss and share their own experiences.

Families with autistic kids surely have more to be concerned about.  The cruel reality is that autism will not end when their kids gradually grow into adults.  Their disability will continue to affect them when they grow up.  The only difference is that they are going to face new types of challenges in their adult life.   The parents of those who need help on their day-to-day living willl have their greatest concern because they can't take care of them forever.  For those whose syndrome is less severe to be independent enough to support themselves, they still have a long and rough way ahead of them.  Studying in college, starting a career, making friends, dating, pursuing a family, along with many other unpreditable things ahead,  none of them is by no mean easy for them in our current social environment.

Unfortunately, our society seems more tolerant toward children with autism than adults with the same disability, and the public is more tolerant toward physical disability than neurological disability.  A blind person surely gets more help or understandings from the general public than a person with autism.  Part of the reason might be that the public really doesn’t fully understand the nature of this disability, and thus doesn't know how to interact with those who have it.  These people are absolutely not arrogant(曲高傲寡) as some other people have many misconceptions on them.  They simply just lack the ability to interact with others in a given social environment.  It is so sad that it is their disability that block in their way to get help from the outside world.  It is also so sad that it is the same disability that makes it difficult for the society as a whole just to make the world work for them.

今天在公司上班, 十时过后, 办公室的灯突然闪了一闪, 办公室顿时漆黑一片. 整座办公大楼停电了.  就在办公室变漆黑的瞬间, 计算机房便传出了大小长短各异的杂声, 听起来象夏蝉在争鸣, 秋虫在呢哝. 其实只是不间断电源(UPS)系统在停电后起动, 一边为最关键性的服务器维持正常供电, 同时所出的警报声.

各同事也在这些警报声中忙碌起来. 有的监测着重要的服务器, 有的忙着把一般的服务器关掉, 因为办公室的电话根本不能用, 用户的的电话也打不进来, 同事们只好用手机向每个用户的分店打电话, 告诉他们的服务被終段的原因并表示歉意.  就这样忙了一个多小时后, 办公大楼才恢复了供电.  跟着又是一阵忙乎, 重新开启所有的计算机, 检测所有系统, 全都好了后, 又给客户再一一地打另一通电话.  到最后又来一个正式的说明文告, 向受到影响人员和客户交代这事故.

说实话, 象公司这样的信息技术公司是不能多次地受这样的折腾的.  公司搬到这办公大楼才几个月, 办公室就先后出现几次空调系统问题, 大家热得冒了几天热汗, 还好那几次都是内部问题, 不象这回会影响到客户.  公司以前在旧办公大楼从没发生象这次这样会影响到客户的事故, 因为旧办公大楼有专人管理和定期地维护大楼, 而又有备用发电机等设备.  新办公大楼根本没有这些, 老是有了问题第二天才叫外人来修.  可以说这新旧办公大楼的环境条件根本没得比较.  不晓得当初决定搬来这里时, 上面的人有没有考查过这里的状况.  如将来再出现象今天的情況, 恐怕到办公室的合约期满时, 也再是搬另一新办公室的时侯了.